Crazy Writer goes to Canada.

A writer friend of mine (let's call her J so she can't sue my as*) just happened to be driving back to the Ozarks from Fairbanks, Alaska (where she left her husband to mine for gold, literally) and he thought it would be a good idea for her to have some company and supervision on the long journey.  He really didn't know me all that well.  Insert menical laughter here. 
Oh the stories I could tell of bears, pit toilets, thaw bulbs, hunky long-haired hikers and silly tourist mistakes, if only J hadn’t threatened to murderer me in my sleep if I ever wrote about it.

Surprise! This Crazy Writer doesn’t mind living dangerously so here are a few of my crazy Canadain adventures.

Bears, writers and sticky electric windows, OH MY!!!

Bear Adventures.

It was early evening on our first day of driving along the ALCAN (Alaska Canada Highway) headed south when we spotted our first bear. It looked huge as it leisurely crossed the road in front of us. We had to stop to avoid hitting it when he paused in our lane to stare at us.

I fumbled around for my camera and J threw the car in park so she could reach hers on the back seat.
Apparently we didn’t look too interesting or tasty because after a couple of moments he went on across the road. I finally found my camera and got this picture as he walked away.

I swear that black blob inside the circle is the second bear we spotted.  Don't worry my camera skills improved along the way.
On our second full day of driving I was alert for bear, elk or moose sightings with my camera always handy so of course the only animals we spotted that day were a couple of little deers much like the hundreds of deers I've seen in the Ozarks.
I did however spot a man with long black hair and a scupted body walking along the highway in the middle of nowhere.  J ignored my pleas to stop the car so I could offer him a ride and I missed my chance to photograph the beautiful speciman of manhood in his natural habitat.  I'm only guessing about it being his natural habitat because he looked to be of Athabaskan Indian decent.

The third bear I spotted was standing on the shoulder of the highway as if he was just waiting for someone to come by and take his picture. J was afraid the car might scare him off so she proceeded slowly up to where he was standing. I forgot to snap any pictures as I stared out the side window at the bear that was only one good lunge from my side of the car.


He stared at me intently moving his head slightly this way and that as if to make sure he saw all my strange attributes. After a moment of this he curled his lip and sort of wrinkled his nose as if he’d smelled something unpleasant. That’s when it struck me that he was acting just like visitors to the zoo do only I was now the animal trapped on display in the small container and he was free to wander on to the next exibit.

Once he’d had a good long look he turned around and walked a few feet away into some high grass. He turned back toward us and laid down. I could still see his head and back and I finally remembered the camera in my hand.

J had frantically been searching in the back seat for her camera but I had ignored all her pleas for help in finding it.

While J was getting the cap off her camera lens, I reviewed my pictures on the tiny screen. They were all blurry because of the reflection from the door window.

“Oh shoot these didn’t come out because of the window.”

“Roll it down.” J said.

I looked from her to the bear. He was on my side of the car and really close. A shiver of unease traveled down my spine. “I guess I can keep my finger on the electronic button and get it up before he can reach us.”

“Yeah, yeah just hurry up and do it before he decides to leave.”

I kept my eyes glued on the bear as I pushed the button.

“Lean back you’re in my shot. I moved slightly but she waved me farther back. “You’ll have to move the seat back you’re still in my shot.”

It took me a moment as I had to contort my body awkwardly to keep my finger on the button, my eye on the bear and find the seat lever with my other hand all at one time.

I eased the seat back and was startled when my finger slipped off the button and the column between the front and back seats blocked my view of the bear. “Ooppps,” I said leaning forward in the seat and getting my finger back on the window button.

“Wait you’re in my shot again,” J complained. “Lean back.”

“But I can’t see the bear when I lean back. I want to be able to put the window up if he moves toward us.”

“He’s not moving, lean back.”

With my heart pounding madly I eased back. I heard her camera click and leaned up to check on the bear again. She shooed me back and I leaned back for a second while trying to keep my now sweaty finger from slipping of the window button. We repeated this process several more times. I’d lean back hear her camera click then lean forward to check that the bear was moving toward us.

How many freakin pictures did she need, I wondered. A rumbling growl emerged from the beast and his paw slapped down the grass in front of him. In a panic I pushed the window button.

“Wait! Don’t roll it up yet. I can see him so much better now that he flattening the grass in front of him.”

I paused with the window only up a few inches. “But what if he comes at us? He’s very close and he’ll get me first,” I complained.

“Don’t be silly, he--”

He let out a loud growl and lurched forward. I pressed the window button, the window moved sluggishly. “Oh no!” It stalled all together and I let out a squeak of alarm and stabbed at the button. Another growl and I was yelling at J to drop her camera and drive. The window started moving again but way to slow. The bear could still stick a big claw in if he wanted to bad enough.

J dropped her camera with a muttered complaint about me not fulfilling my ‘shotgun’ obligations but at least she threw the car into drive while she muttered and the car shot forward.

Thankfully the bear did not give chase so I saw it as a disaster averted. J refers to it as a missed opportunity for some really close up pictures.

During the first hour of our road trip she did explain to me that riding shotgun (front passenger) meant I would have to do certain things to help out the drive but at no time prior to this did she mention that it included being bear bait.